Cards That Scream "You're Settling, Babe" In Relationships + Career

 

Over my 22+ years of reading and studying the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot — through personal readings and those I’ve done for others — I’ve noticed a pattern. There are certain cards that show up when someone is settling, whether it’s in a job or a relationship. So today, I want to take a closer look at the cards that, in my experience, carry that 'settling' energy. This is my personal list, but I’d love to hear from you, too. What cards say 'you’re settling, babe' in your readings? Let’s open up the conversation — share your thoughts in the comments!

First card that radiates settling energy, the Four of Cups

The Four of Cups shows a person looking kind of disappointed and just "meh". There's a cup being offered by a hand in the cloud (which symbolizes the universe) that represents an opportunity that the person on the Four of Cups isn't noticing. The three cups may distract him at the bottom. He's not exactly happy with the three cups. Instead, he just settles for these three cups out of boredom, disappointment, or disillusionment. He may wait for the right opportunity to come along, or he just isn't ready to move on. 

In a relationship, the Four of Cups is settling energy. You're half heartedly in the relationship, and also halfway out. You're not ready to move on yet, but you're getting close. You may also felt bored and disappointed with your partner. But you stay, hoping things get better or you wait for the perfect opportunity to strike out on your own or leap into the arms of someone else. It's like a piece of you still has hope. But also, a part of you is dying inside.

For career, the Four of Cups may talk about you waiting for the right moment to leave your career or job. You're half-assing your work and don't really care much anymore. An opportunity might arise, but you may not recognize it or feel it's the right time to leave your job. It can also show being offered a new position within your company, but you feel you're not ready for new responsibilities or are lukewarm about the position. So instead, you stay stuck. Settling for mediocre instead of excellence. Your heart is just not in this career anymore, but you decide to stay anyway.

Our next card is the Five of Pentacles

The Five of Pentacles sees a couple walking in a snowy city passing by a warm, lit-up church. They pass right by it, ignoring it's warmth and shelter it can offer them for the night. 

In a relationship, the Five of Cups is the energy of being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. You both know it's not working, but you carry on anyway. You ignore couple's therapy or being the one to leave, even though it's obvious this relationship does not bring joy or happiness anymore. You may also settle because you fear the messy process of untangling your entwined finances. It also can be someone having health issues and you're standing by them out of compassion, but the spark is no longer there between you both. You stay because truly neither one of you want to be alone or know how to navigate life without each other. It's a co-dependent relationship. You instead suffer in the cold together.

The Five of Pentacles in career can be about feeling hopeless in your career. It can be a significant ending but yet, it keeps getting pushed back. Either you don't feel financially secure to leave and job hunt, or your job has you on the chopping block, but keeps refusing to let you go. You or your job settle because either they can't afford to lose you for metrics reason (such as a DEI Hire), or you just don't have the resources or time or energy to look for a new job. So you stay stuck in a job you dislike, or your employer refuses to let you go even though they know your performance is mediocre and you both are not feeling the energy anymore.

Next, we have the Eight of Swords

Now, the Eight of Swords usually show a woman with a blindfold standing in a puddle of water. Her hands appeared to be bind behind her, but they weren't. Eight swords that appear to entrap her surround her. But if she would just notice her unbound hands and remove her blindfold, she can easily see she can escape the swords.

For relationships, the Eight of Swords is a settling card to me. Why? Because you go back and forth to each other, in a loop. Despite you two not being good for each other.  This may also be an abusive relationship. You keep escaping, but something pulls you back to the relationship. OR something traps you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and you're unsure how to escape. You also may feel hopeless and feel like no one else is going to love you or accept you, or you feel this relationship IS IT. You keep yourself trapped, or the significant other keeps you trapped somehow.

In career, this can be imposter syndrome. You may feel you're not good enough for any other job or refuse to explore careers outside of your comfort zone. So instead, you settle for unemployment, disability, or you settle at the position you're comfortable with. Imposter syndrome can keep you settling for crumbs or not accepting opportunities you are clearly capable of.

Followed by the Eight of Swords, we have The Hanged Man

A person hanging upside represents the Hanged Man down on the Tree of Life. He has one hand behind his back, and one leg crossed behind him, as he hangs upside down.

In relationships, the Hanged Man is someone waiting for things to change. Someone who sits and waits. They know things are terrible, but they believe this is the person they're meant to be with. Or, this person sits around and waits for the other person to become emotionally available or meet some unspoken standard. They don't want anyone else BUT that person. They think if they change for the person, or if the person changes, they will suddenly want them.

Career-wise, the Hanged Man is about being stuck in limbo. Maybe you're waiting to hear about getting a new job you desire. Or maybe you're waiting for the day your boss notices you and promotes you or gives you a raise for your hard work. You're settling on waiting instead of making moves. If you are waiting to hear about a position, bug them. If you want a raise or promotion, speak up. Otherwise you're settling on your employer's terms.

Next, we have the Nine of Wands reversed

The Nine of Wands reversed is the Nine of Wands upside down. We see a battered person wearing a bandage on their head, surrounded by wands. He's holding a staff and leaning on the staff, indicating he's not giving up just yet. He's weary, but he's not done just yet. He knows he's almost to his goal.

The Nine of Wands reversed can show not giving up, despite it hurting you. This is "I'm hurting, but I refuse to let go". You won't concede defeat.  So you decide to settle.  It is also about letting boundaries slip and letting someone get off easily, just to keep the peace. 

In relationships, you may felt super guarded and emotionally hurt. But you refuse to let go of the relationship despite the boundaries crossed and how often you let the significant other or friend get off easily. You decide to settle because feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all. Or feeling pain is better than being alone or admitting that a relationship truly isn't good for us. 

In a career, the Nine of Wands reversed can indicate staying until the ship sinks. A captain sinking with his ship. It's hurting people. But you refuse to let this career or job die. You refuse to let it go, despite it no longer bringing you joy. You may enjoy the paycheck or benefits and just have this job or career for the sake of a paycheck. Maybe you don't care about happiness and fulfillment in your career, or you think these things are separate. "A job is a job to make a living, and a living is the real joy and fulfillment", you might think. Your excessive loyalty prevents you from moving on.

Up next, we have the Two of Swords

The Two of Swords shows a woman wearing a blindfold, with swords in her right and left hands. She's sitting on a rock with a body of water behind her. Her feet are grounded.

Relationship wise, the Two of Swords can show you're afraid to decide. So you avoid making the decision, or remain "blind" to the truth. You're settling by being avoidant. "You don't need a sign. You need to decide!". Being afraid to decide can keep up us stuck and settling for things that we do not deserve.

The Two of Swords in the context of your career signifies indecision. You may have options in front of you, but you are too afraid of the outcome of these decisions. Thus, you put off deciding, or you avoid it altogether. Sometimes decisions need to be made about changing our career, taking on more responsibilities at work, or even if we are making the right decisions. So you stay in decision paralysis, making you settle.

After the Two of Swords, we have Justice reversed

Justice is a major arcana card. It shows a woman on a throne, holding scales and a sword. Justice represents karma, balance, literal justice and equality, and fairness.

Justice reversed is when the Justice card is upside down and it can represent imbalances, unfairness, injustice, and inequality.

For relationships, Justice reversed indicates there is an imbalance in the relationship. Someone may do all the emotional labor, while the other person is avoidant. This can be indicative of an avoidant attachment style and an anxious attachment style couple. They attract each other and have severe imbalances. Things may not be fair, but you rationalize it. You may repeatedly let someone off the hook or compromise too much. You are settling for the imbalance.

In career, Justice reversed shows there's an imbalance somewhere in the office. Maybe you are juggling everyone else's responsibilities or vice versa. There could also be discrimination of some sort such as racism, sexism, ageism, ableism. You settle when you don't speak up about the unfairness and imbalances and inequality. You may compromise too much, such as working every weekend to get the office caught up on paperwork or taking on someone on sick leave's responsibilities while juggling other tasks. 

We're coming down to our final two tarot cards! Let me know what you think of my interpretations. What else would you add? Let me know!

And now, the second to last card, the Seven of Pentacles

The Seven of Pentacles shows a person with a rake looking at his garden full of pentacles. He has a concerned look on his face, like the pentacles are taking forever to grow and come in.

In relationships, the Seven of Pentacles is settling by the mindset of "Sunk Cost Fallacy". Sunk Cost Fallacy is when you choose to stay because you invested time, energy, and resources into someone. You may have been best friends for 15 years and became a couple and then realized this is not what you want. But you stay anyway, because quantity is more logical than quality. This is the "I've spent so much time with this person" or "We have history" people.

Regarding careers, the Seven of Pentacles signifies both faithfulness and the potential for being trapped by prior investments.  You may have given your best years to a company or department and refuse to go to another company or department. Also, you may be settling because you're stuck on the history you have with a company if you are laid off and not actively job searching. "Yeah, they'll call me back. I am a loyal hard worker", you say as you watch The View or Fox and Friends and eat your McDonald's cheeseburger. But guess what? That company is not loyal to you. You settle because you believe your hard work makes a difference and by showing loyalty, you are irreplaceable. But you are.

Finally, we're at our last card! YAY! The last card that can show settling is the Three of Cups reversed.

The upright Three of Cups shows three women toasting in a celebration. They are supportive of one another and are celebrating their successes. This is the card of community, success, celebrations, and joy.

Reversed, the Three of Cups can indicate a toxic relationship or friendship. Someone may be jealous or they gossip a lot. It can indicate a lack of community, isolation, and loneliness.

The reversed Three of Cups in a relationship reading implies troubled dynamics or a third party's involvement. You may hold on hoping the person chooses you. If they choose you, they wouldn't have cheated. You may settle because you suspect nothing or you want to prove people wrong that your relationship is strong. You may also settle for the sake of keeping the peace.

In career, the Three of Cups reversed means you're settling after being looked over repeatedly for a promotion, position, or raise. You believe that harder work or flattering management will get you chosen. So you settle, hoping to be chosen.

Tell me, where have you settled in your life? Do you regret settling? Let me know in the comments! Also, tell me what tarot cards mean settling to you!

See you next week!